Friday, 31 August 2018

Vans Warped Tour selesai, berarti skena musik punk/rock selesai juga? Inilah curhatan saya

Setelah menulis akhir dari Vans Warped Tour di Inspirasi Pagi, tiba-tiba ingin menyuarakan opini sendiri tentang Vans Warped Tour dan dunia punk/rock jadiiii mengapa tidak? Saya juga sedang tidak ingin ngocak bahasa Inggris, saya ingin mengungkapkan segalanya dengan bahasa Indonesia. Saya lagi nggak peduli grammar, saya lagi mood “nyampah”. Dan maaf seribu maaf kalau saya lagi absen nulis blog sampai berbulan-bulan hehehe. Apa kabar semuanya? Semoga baik-baik saja yaaa.


hi this is your local 2015 grunge girl ayakumii! 



"Berteman, berkontribusi untuk sekolah sudah membuat saya lelah; mengingat saya berusaha untuk mempertahankan majalah sekolah sampai sudah mau diangkat jadi wakil redaksi, namun gagal dan guru-guru pun nggak ada yang berusaha untuk mempertahankan [...], mencoba menutup telinga setiap guru kesenian yang suka tiba-tiba menjelek-jelekan saya tapi gagal (she once asked me to comb my hair in front of everyone and she said, “just like your sister, come on?”), [...] Saya lebih suka membaca buku dengan headset menempel di telinga, terhubung pada MP3 – sibuk mendengarkan lagu-lagu yang baru saja kutemukan kemarin di Internet baik legal ataupun nggak"



Saya awali cerita ini dari musik. Dari masih di perut Ibu, saya dibawa ke konser Chrisye. Kata Ibu, kocak banget: saya tuh nggak bisa diem tiap dengar musik. Terutama pas di konser Chrisye, sepanjang konser, saya nendang dinding perut Ibu sampai konser selesai. “Ibu tuh ya, kayak mules pengin ke kamar mandi terus sepanjang konser, loh,” selalu diakhiri begitu kalau Ibu ingat-ingat “bawa” saya ke konser Chrisye. Dan, this ain’t joke, man. Tiap saya cerita begini, selalu dibilang lelucon : padahal bukan. Darisitu, saya mbrojol dan dari awal dipaparkan oleh segala macam musik. Dari The Beatles, Phil Collins, Koes Plus, Queen sampai Pink Floyd. Nggak sampai di situ, ada piano di rumah dan saya suka lihat Ibu tiap kali main piano sampai bilang, “ma, lesin saya piano, dong”. Udah, dari situ, belajar piano sampai bosen sama musik klasik. Lucunya, di umur segini, kalau orang-orang bilang cara fokus adalah dengan mendengarkan musik klasik ataupun piano, saya malah inget masa-masa “kelam”ku main piano dan itulah, saya jadi nggak suka tiap kali dengar musik klasik. Karena terpapar dengan berbagai macam musik, akhirnya saya suka segala macam musik. Dari pop biasa, dangdut, bahkan sampai tiba saatnya di waktu SMP : punk/rock.

Aya circa SMA menikmati konser sampai lupa minum dari dua gelas

Di jaman SMP inilah, dari adanya MySpace, saya jadi bisa tahu semua band punk di berbagai belahan dunia. Dari My Chemical Romance, Paramore, Tonight Alive, dan sebagainya.  Tapi, pas SMA datang, it’s my darkest time of all time. Saya bukanlah tipe populer sepopuler SMP dulu. Saya culun. Kacamata saya tambah tebal, saya tambah nyaman mengenakan seragam yang lebar daripada ketat, nggak peduli rambut saya yang panjang dan berantakan, suka bawa novel di tas, dan lebih memilih menetap di kelas saat jam istirahat. Saya nggak terlalu punya banyak teman di SMA. Cuma beberapa, satu geng, but I admit I make a huge effort to keep the whole team but the effort wasn’t even worth it. Saya lebih suka hidup dalam buku yang saya baca atau menulis di jurnal – saya suka hidup dalam kepala saya. 


"Tapi saya rindu dengan kebesaran konser mendengarkan bukan musik lipsynch ataupun pre-recorded set, no offense [...] dan menikmati harmoni dari gitar elektrik, drum, bass, vokal, serta terkadang synthesizer. Saya rindu berdiri nyaris dekat dengan moshpit [...], saya rindu headbanging bareng band, saya rindu loncat bareng sang performance, saya rindu nyanyi sambil setengah teriak meluapkan emosi saya."


Aya circa SMA : suka pake band bracelet yang belinya sampe impor dan suka bawa kamera kemana-mana buat liputan haahah

Berteman, berkontribusi untuk sekolah sudah membuat saya lelah; mengingat saya berusaha untuk mempertahankan majalah sekolah sampai sudah mau diangkat jadi wakil redaksi, namun gagal dan guru-guru pun nggak ada yang berusaha untuk mempertahankan (“nggak ada yang baca, Aya. Terlalu banyak uang.” That’s what they said), mencoba menyukai Matematika, Fisika, ataupun Kimia yang terus-terusan gagal sampai nggak terhingga berapa kali nangisin tugas (daaan... tetap masuk IPA), mencoba menutup telinga setiap guru kesenian yang suka tiba-tiba menjelek-jelekan saya tapi gagal (she once asked me to comb my hair in front of everyone and she said, “just like your sister, come on?”), teman-teman yang suka bilang saya “Keminggris” karena paling bisa bahasa Inggris, serta cinta monyet yang nggak kesampaian. Saya lebih suka membaca buku dengan headset menempel di telinga, terhubung pada MP3 – sibuk mendengarkan lagu-lagu yang baru saja kutemukan kemarin di Internet baik legal ataupun nggak, ataupun lagu-lagu dari band-band yang kutemukan di lineup Vans Warped Tour saat itu. Saya mendengarkan Simple Plan, Green Day, Paramore, Tonight Alive, The Downtown Fiction, Not Called Jinx; bagiku musik rock ataupun punk merupakan bentuk pemberontakan. Saya ingin seperti mereka, memberontak dan protes akan sistem, strata sosial, sekolah, bahkan adulting. Saya sering banget pura-pura kram karena mens demi dapet ijin pulang sekolah. Saya nggak suka sekolah, saya benci SMA. Saya selalu bermimpi kuliah di Amerika biar nonton Vans Warped Tour, biar bisa teriak kalau punk rock itu penting.

foto yang saya ambil di konser Simple Plan di Surabaya tahun 2010 lalu. The best concert that I've ever attended! 
  


Di masa kuliah, dengan berbekal pengetahuan tentang budaya dan membuat saya mengeksplorasi musik dari berbagai belahan dunia membuat pengetahuan musik saya lebih luas. Dari EDM underground, musik rock dari band-band Jerman, musik rock di Swedia (ROYAL REPUBLIC!  Mereka masih melebarkan sayap, nih!), J-Rock (One OK Rock, Man in a Mission), dan sebagainya. Saya masih mendengarkan musik keras, namun tidak seperti dulu. Saya rentan sekali merasa lelah dan stres karena tugas kuliah dan skripsi, jadi saya memilih untuk menghindari musik keras secara perlahan. Apalagi, di tahun 2017 dimana saya mulai tergelincir ke lubang hitam alias depresi berat, saya jadi jarang mendengarkan musik.


" I was like, what the fuck? Vans Warped Tour? The biggest rock music festival in the world? Festival yang paling saya elu-elukan, paling saya ikutin, paling saya penginin untuk datang (apalagi adik saya sampai berandai-andai tunangan di Vans Warped Tour huahaha), saya klaim sebagai festival legendaris – harus gulung tikar? Waduh! Gimana nasib skena musik keras? Apakah ini berarti nasib skena musik keras harus berakhir?"


HAHAHA LIHAT DEH GAYANYA :D udah tas kayak gitu, gelang Not Called Jinx, dan sering ngincer bule Jerman di Goethe Institut ahaha


Di awal 2018, saya mulai harus beradaptasi dengan pekerjaan baru saya. Ini berarti, saya harus kehilangan waktu untuk diri saya sendiri seperti yoga, membaca, mencari musik baru, merajut, dan sebagainya. Saya mulai gampang marah. Bahkan, saya merasa saya nggak kenal diri saya sendiri – sampai-sampai saya ngerasa pusing dengan musik yang saya dengarkan. Saya lebih mendengarkan musik pop namun rasanya sama semua; nggak ada yang original. Mirip seperti formula “daur ulang” yang diteruskan sampai saya malas dengarkan radio. Akhirnya, di bulan Juli, saya benar-benar stres dan butuh sesuatu yang membuat saya punya pegangan lagi. Saya punya segala macam emosi berkecamuk di jiwa saya dan saya ingin membuangnya. Saya perlahan menulis lagi, tapi bukan menulis untuk pekerjaan – saya menulis fiksi. Tak hanya itu, setelah mengikuti 6 hari tanpa media sosial, akhirnya saya mencopot aplikasi Twitter dan berusaha keras untuk lebih menulis di jurnal daripada Twitter. Saya ingin kembali ke jaman SMA dimana saya bisa menghabiskan berlembar-lembar jurnal untuk menceritakan apa yang saya rasakan. Dan disitulah, entah kenapa tiba-tiba suka menonton film-film dokumenter Kurt Cobain. Tiap adik menonton video konser My Chemical Romance, saya selalu ikut-ikutan. Akhirnya, saya jatuh lagi ke skena musik keras. Dari bernostalgia MCR, mendengarkan grunge seperti Nirvana (lagi) maupun Hole, mendengarkan musik Riot grrrl movement lagi yang sudah lama saya tinggalkan sejak semester lima kuliah berakhir, mendengarkan Panic! At the Disco lagi, dan sebagainya. Saya bilang ke adik saya, “kok saya tiba-tiba dengerin musik ginian lagi ya? Biasanya kalau nggak ada angin atau apa, ada sesuatu yang bakal terjadi sama skena musik keras”. Serius loh ini. Tiap saya suka sesuatu di dunia musik, pasti antara sesuatu bakal ngetrend ataupun ada sesuatu sampai adik saya bilang saya ini trend forecast untuk musik. Lalu, adik saya menjawab dengan sebuah artikel bahwa Vans Warped Tour harus berakhir. I was like, what the fuck? Vans Warped Tour? The biggest rock music festival in the world? Festival yang paling saya elu-elukan, paling saya ikutin, paling saya penginin untuk datang (apalagi adik saya sampai berandai-andai tunangan di Vans Warped Tour huahaha), saya klaim sebagai festival legendaris – harus gulung tikar? Waduh! Gimana nasib skena musik keras? Apakah ini berarti nasib skena musik keras harus berakhir?

best local powerpop-punk band : Pee Wee Gaskins! Foto ini saya ambil tahun 2012, di konser pensi SMAN 2. 



Jujur, saya agak sedih. Memang sih musik keras dulu sangat vokal sekali menyuarakan protes mereka dan kini posisi mereka telah digantikan dengan musik hip-hop. Musik-musik keras sekarang jadinya kurang vokal karena bagi mereka perjuangan mereka telah selesai. Namun, musik punk/rock maupun grunge, metalcore, hardcore – is it going to die soon? Mungkin tidak. Tapi saya rindu dengan kebesaran konser mendengarkan bukan musik lipsynch ataupun pre-recorded set, no offense (karena saya juga suka kedua musik itu kalau kalian ngerti saya bahas apa, don’t worry) dan menikmati harmoni dari gitar elektrik, drum, bass, vokal, serta terkadang synthesizer. Saya rindu berdiri nyaris dekat dengan moshpit (sampai saya ingat banget panitianya sampai harus terjun ke daerah para penonton dan berdiri di dekat saya pas agar saya nggak ketarik ke moshpit huahahah), saya rindu headbanging bareng band, saya rindu loncat bareng sang performance, saya rindu nyanyi sambil setengah teriak meluapkan emosi saya. Saya rindu full immersion of a concert, full immersion of harmony in music.

 
Saya nggak tahu lagi ini tulisan mau gimana akhirannya, but I just miss rock music scene. Dengan ketiadaan festival musik keras legendaris... Akankah skena musik keras tetap bertahan dan memberikan revolusi?


I miss rock music,
love love,
-Aya x


P.S : Saya punya tiga playlist untuk musik keras di Spotify, yakni musik eksplorasi dari berbagai belahan dunia; grunge; dan isi musik punk/rock. Untuk kalian, saya berikan playlist full 19 jam punk/rock, diawali dari My Chemical Romance, lanjut Paramore, Tonight Alive, Green Day, Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy, All Time Low, Mindless Self Indulgence, bahkan Of Mice and Men. Selamat mendengarkan!




Saturday, 30 June 2018

I Tried 6 Days of Social Media Detox

Please submit your phones and let's talk!


Yes, indeed I tried 6 days without social media. 
As a girl that can't missed the updates from the pop culture, I admit I can't keep myself from social media. I don't want to missed updates from my favourite game, my favourite bands, my favourite authors, my favourite actors, upcoming films, upcoming cultural trends, and so on. Then, after so many days, I feel like my mood swing is very very very dangerous yet confusing whenever I opened my social media accounts.

whenever I gathered with my friends or my family, I scrolled down my social media feeds instead of initiating or even participating in a conversation. I found the "other world" was so much better than whatever happened in the present and I think that this is dangerous. I said to myself : there it is, you're addicted to social media. 

So, for instance, after I logged in, scroll here and there on my Instagram account, checking on people's stories - I feel mad for no reason. I feel stressed out. Furthermore, when I logged in on my Twitter, I feel like I want to throw my tantrum with no reason at all. Oh, I also feel soooo anxious whenever I logged in my social media accounts. I also feel exhausted with the feeling that I really have to checking out my accounts everytime, although I don't have to - I follow my guts to checking in my accounts and it's really exhausting. I tried to resist by doing my job, crocheting, reading or things - I always find a way to opened my social media accounts.  

What makes it worse is : loneliness. Although I have a lot of "friends" on my social media, I feel like I draw myself out from the people that I cared about in the real life. I feel this whenever I gathered with my friends or my family, I scrolled down my social media feeds instead of initiating  or even participating a conversation. I found the "other world" was so much better than whatever happened in the present and I think that this is dangerous. I said to myself : there it is, you're addicted to social media. 

I learned to be "present" after I do Yoga so many times. So if I can be "present" during my yoga session, why can't I do that in my everyday routine? I mean, if you waste your time to be sucked into a virtual world, what about your real world? What memories that you are going to cherish later? 

Without long debates with myself, I decided to be away from social media in order to reconnect with my inner peace and getting myself together in the midst of my busy city life. I announced on all of my social media accounts that I have to take some time to be offline (although some friends were missed the memo and DMed me on Instagram a lot hahaha), approximately for a week or more until Ant-Man and The Wasp released, which is July 5 or July 6.  Then, I remembered about my good 'ol university assignment : we have to give a report about three days without Internet. Inspired by this assignment, I re-enact the same thing. But of course, I don't need to submit this to my professor :D  

THUSSS, I jot down some fragments about my feelings on my diary. So, I re-write it to make a nice paragraph (and comprehensive for you) and here's the report for you! 

 Day 1 - June 22, 2018 : I still have to sneakily opened my secret Instagram account and opened my Twitter via web without login. On the other hand, during the whole morning, I fully concentrated on both of my jobs : teaching and writing - which is unusual. 

 • Day 2 - June 23, 2018 : I have to go to Malang. I need to check things about my friend that is going to stay in the same hotel (she took over the whole check in thing so I have to make sure), so, I need to login and check her Instagram story. Then, I logged out as soon as I can. Furthermore, there's also a slight uneasy when I got my new My Chemical Romance's killjoys t-shirt and I need to update it. But hey, I resisted it and I enjoyed the whole trip until I reached Malang.


But hey, as you can see above, me and my sister were totally being silly in repping our favourite band's t-shirt. We take a lot of pictures - but we're not uploading it right away. We're just taking pictures (and tons of weird funny pictures that I'm not going to upload of cOurse hahah).



Is it a habit to have the urge to share our lives since the social media era came? There's also this feeling to take pictures of everything, in order to share it. Instead of sharing your time with strangers on Internet, why don't you share your time for yourself and loved ones? 


 Day 3 - June 24, 2018 : Once I woke up, I straight to went for swimming and this time, I totally forgot about my phone. I didn't even remember where my phone was! When I was swimming, I totally enjoy the time - I didn't even have some anxiety to update. I felt so free for the first time. Although I'm slightly jealous when somebody took her phone with her in the pool and updating her story but I'm fine because hey, I'm not even worrying about my phone slides from my hand and get into the water? :D



I was totally enjoying my trip to Malang. I feel free that I don't need to care about what others do today and I completely forgot that I missed the updates about Sebastian Stan in Comic Con (I just remembered when I wrote this blog post though!). Anyway, when I waited something, instead of checking my phone, I resuming my crochet project and that's my sister sneakily taking pics of me when I crochetted!

I'M FREE AND I CROCHETTED!!!
 • Day 4 - June 25, 2018 : Again, the first thing that I did in the morning was not checking on my phone. I rolled out from bed - for real. After Yoga, working on some articles, and doing house chores, I finished season three of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D - yas! I wasn't bugged by popped up notifications of my social media and so on and I managed to finish it!

Then, I made a new journal template called "TV series tracker" to track which episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D that I left off. Oh! I also didn't complain on Twitter about my suck Wi-Fi connection and complaining about some bugs on my HOOQ account. About the bug, I solved that myself :D

 • Day 5 - June 26, 2018 : I still not checking on my phone as the first thing that I did in the morning. I also really focusing on more socializing and teaching. When I was waiting for the student to finish the task, I crochetted instead of scrolling on my social media accounts.

When the day was done, I have a short walk around the neighborhood with my sister and instead tweeting about my day, I told her about my day. Then, during the night, it's time to refreshing! (because tomorrow's the election day aka holiday!) I watched My Chemical Romance MTV World Stage without updating things - so I'm pretty much enjoyed it until finished without bothered by the urge to update. I also finished watching Every Day (I've been waiting for this movie because I LOVED the book! But ugh, the film isn't that mesmerizing) and Love, Simon. These are movies that I've been looking forward to watch but I don't have enough time. And I also finished TWO LONG ROWS of my crochet!
However... I sneakily check about Gerard Way, Frank Iero, and Mikey Way's updates from my sister's Instagram. 

 •  Day 6 - June 27, 2018 : I'm in fact TOO lazy to checking on my phone. The thoughts of having my social media back tomorrow got me so anxious. I don't want to feel sad or even anxious or even jealous when I see somebody's updates. Because we are all good in fiction - that's what I've learned from Jack Harries speech in the DO Lectures.


And during this day, I recognizing the urge to upload things. I upload something on WhatsApp stories. 


In conclusion, is it a habit to have the urge to share our lives since the social media era came? There's also this feeling to take pictures of everything, in order to share it. Instead of sharing your time with strangers on Internet, why don't you share your time for yourself and loved ones? 

Log out, see the world, and be present. 


log out and go for a swim! 



Today, I have my social media accounts back and I realized, I... need to uninstall it again because it's totally stressed me out :D



I didn't mean to hurt anyone.

Love love,
-Aya


Note : I supposed to do the Social Media Detox for about a week. But I miscalculate the days on my diary so... I actually want to resume the Social Media Detox though but I have a lot of things on mind about my #BeatThePlastic project. So, please anticipate it on my Instagram!